last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
