I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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