All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
