So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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