erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think my moral compass just broke
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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