dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
