Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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