why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
