he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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