my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
