it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
