And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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