He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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