Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
