therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
