Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
