the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
