Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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