All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We are two peas in an std pod
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
