I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
