so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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