the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
