Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
