Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
