I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
