Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
