Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
