Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
