Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
