Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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