This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
