do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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