So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
