too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
