we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
