nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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