Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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