Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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