I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
