she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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