Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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