I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Fuck appropriateness.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
