I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
