Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
