I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
