Pappa wants mamma naked
Where is the hickey?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
