Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
