I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
