Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
please don't ironically join a cult
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