he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize