Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
