You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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