Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize