im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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