It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
