So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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