Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
