the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
