Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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