I hate your face
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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