Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
