its not stalking. its research.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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