you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
