I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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