he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
