Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
is it fun? or sober?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
