I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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