You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
