It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
