i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
