My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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