Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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