We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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