Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We left an ass print on the piano.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
