she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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