Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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