I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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