I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize