i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
