dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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